Be Right-n-Fight or Be Happy?

By | February 18, 2015

Would you rather “Be right-n-fight “  or Be skillful and HAPPY!

Have you ever encountered an “Archie Bunker” moment when someone insists on being RIGHT more than listening to you or allowing another point of view?

Watch this classic Archie Bunker “I know what’s RIGHT”.

What if you could respond more skillfully instead of starting a tug of war over how the dishes are done, how the house is kept or even over more challenging issues like points of view around politics or religion.

Being able to keep your cool in the face of strong opinions and even criticism takes practice and skills. Bring your challenges to the table and get real time coaching on how to handle a conversation, situation or person that you wish you could deal with more effectively.

Join our monthly Interactive Communication Class. 

Get the skills you need to handle interactions more effectively and respectfully.

Class is limited to 10 people so reserve your spot now!

 

What is being RIGHT really about?

In my experience of coaching individuals and couples for many years, underneath every need to be RIGHT is really layers of other needs that are “screaming to be met.” See if any of these phrases capture what might be your needs when you get in a tussle with someone:

  • To be heard and understood- – if you felt heard and understood, would you still be upset?
  • To have your reality acknowledged or gotten in some way
  • Empathy and respect for your pain- when you feel “wronged” in any way you most likely have a wish for the other person to really get what it’s like to be in your shoes- if they got this they wouldn’t be doing what they are doing… right?
  • To be respected for your thoughts, life experience, expertise, knowledge
  • To be open to and respect other ways of doing things – in particular- your way!
  • To be appreciated for what you have done, your good intentions and contribution to the relationship/project.
  • To know that you matter and that your needs matter- kindness and caring for your humanity
  • To have your world view accepted, respected and honored … when we defend our religion, our political viewpoints- it ties deeply to our needs to make sense of the world, to feel safe, and maintain believe systems that help us find peace around highly charged events in life.

When something threatens someone’s world view, for many people this is tantamount to having their very existence and survival threatened. The nervous system perceives it as a threat and the Fight- Flight reaction hijacks our sane brain. Once our buttons are pushed- nothing helpful or productive can happen.    This is why moving beyond Rightness and Wrongness is so difficult for  many people.

Are you willing to move beyond defending and reacting to have peace and ease instead? Practicing new skills and awareness’s is the only way out of the Blame Game. Bring more peace and ease into your life now by joining us at the next monthly Communication Play-n-Practice Group!

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